Getting married is a beautiful commitment between two people who love each other, and according to the vows, they will share their time for the rest of their lives. What comes along with that are things that could affect the shelf-life of the relationship, and usually does, sadly. But as long as a couple communicates, it saves a lot of trouble!
In the case of one couple, I don’t know if it’s going to be easy. This beautiful couple love each other and want to get married. However, the young lady in this story is very sick. She has not one, but two rare chronic illnesses: Blau syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.
If Jennie Lewin gets married, she could lose her disability and health insurance… which takes care of extensive testing, blood work, appointments, and inpatient infusions on a regular basis.
This is a life or death decision for her. Here’s what she had to say:
While I never intended to have a romantic relationship with someone, as I grew to know him, it was clear he was able to look beyond my disabilities and just see me.
From the very beginning, I was open and honest, not only about my illness but about my inability to marry. If that was important to him, I always said, then he was with the wrong person.
For most who are unable to work due to disability, financial and medical assistance is immediately terminated upon marriage. Most government-based assistance programs are based on income, so if your spouse is employed, their income counts toward your limit and you become ineligible. Because I was disabled as a child, I am able to stay on my father’s private health insurance — as long as I don’t get married.
Through our discussions, we both agreed the real point of marriage is the commitment, not the legal aspect.
We always agreed that if we got to that point, we’d want to have a non-legal commitment ceremony where we publicly pledged our love to one another.
We aren’t having a ceremony because it seems like the next logical step. Our ceremony won’t mean shopping for a beautiful dress, picking the perfect “first dance song,” or selecting a place-setting pattern. We aren’t having a ceremony so I can call him my husband. We are simply stripping down the ceremony to what we feel is the most important part of a marriage: the commitment between two people.
We won’t pretend we are married when we are not. We won’t have the same name, bank accounts, or any legal ties to one another. But we will continue to live as a committed couple for the rest of our lives. We simply choose to have our ceremony because our love and commitment is something we want to publicly share. To us, this makes the event that much more meaningful, personal, and special.
We need to send prayers for this couple that they make the right decision and that she’s also healed. I applaud her honesty and boldness. She must really love her partner to put this out there for the world to see.
I can’t imagine having to make such a decision. Let’s wish her a wonderful Christmas and God’s blessings!
What do you think she should do? Do you think she should get married and lose her benefits and insurance? Share your helpful hints below and add this article to your Facebook/Twitter page.