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Trump Responds to Elizabeth Warren’s Native Heritage Claim

President Donald Trump’s war against Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren’s alleged Native American heritage reached its conclusion today when Warren proved once and for all that she’s a Native American. Or put more accurately, she “proved” that she’s – maybe – 1/1024th, or 0.098% Native American. Maybe. Now, President Donald Trump has responded with just the kind of mockery you’d expect.

“Who cares?”

Indeed, Mr. President.

“I hope she’s running for president because I think she’d be very easy,” Trump said. “I hope that she is running. I do not think she’ll be difficult at all. She’ll destroy the country. She’ll make the country into Venezuela. With that being said, I don’t want to say bad things about her because I hope she would be one of the people that would get through the process. It’s going to be a long process for the Democrats.”

The timing of Warren releasing a DNA test (which she previously refused to take) raises the simple question of “why?” The leading theory is that it’s in anticipation of a future Presidential run in 2020. Since Trump always refers to Warren as “Pocahontas,” she knows that her lies about her heritage will be a central criticism Trump lobs at her. It’s unclear why she thought proving she’s – maybe – 1/1024th Native would dispel her lie.

Believe it or not, there is a chorus of liberals pretending (or maybe they really are serious) that this actually does prove Warren was right after all. While Warren – again, may – be 0.098% Native, the average European American is 0.18% native. In other words, the average white person you see on the street is nearly twice as Native American as Elizabeth Warren. Who knew we were all minorities now?

Hilariously, South Park managed to see the future and parody this whole ordeal over a year ago:

And remember; statistically speaking, Trump is probably more Native American than Elizabeth Warren.

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