By David Kamioner | January 20, 2020

The Old Gray Lady is getting forgetful in her dotage as it seems to have slipped her mind that only one person can win the Dem nomination for president. The New York Times used to know such things, but perhaps in a feminist drool fest their effete sensibilities overcame them and they couldn’t choose between the two female candidates.

Which is odd, because Senator Warren and Senator Klobuchar have different views on a range of subjects most notably healthcare. Warren wants a fully socialized system. Klobuchar basically wants Obamacare+.

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Warren is a full out screaming meemie socialist, Bernie in drag without the amusing Borscht Belt delivery. Klobuchar is the well-meaning leftist kindergarten teacher who is so inept that all her schemes turn to dark comic episodes that other people pay for.

And the New York Times wants them both (?) to be the Democratic nominee for president.

We aren’t the only people amused by the sheer logical weirdness of the modern New York Times.

And, in a rare moment of genuine wit…

You can see the editorial board meeting now.

Editor: “So, who are we going to endorse?”

All at the rest at once: “BERNIE!”

“No. Has no shot. What about either Warren or Klobuchar?”

“Why not both?!”

“Because it makes no sense.”

Outraged feminist: “Are you saying neither are qualified?”

“Well, no I…”

“Are you, a man, trying to tell me I can’t vote for who I want?!”

“That’s not what…”

“Do women have the right to vote at all in your Handmaiden’s Tale editorial world!!!???”

“Now, wait a minute. I never said…”

“All for endorsing them both raise your fists!” All fists raised, except for the Executive Editor. Other men in the room gingerly raise their tiny fists in terrified anticipation of the wrath of the Furies if they don’t. “Motion carried. The patriarchy has been defeated! I’ll call both of them with the good news. A dual female presidency. How edgy!”

“Uh, sure. You do that. Great…That’s all for now. We’ll finish up in the morning.” Room empties. Editor pours himself a glass of good bourbon. Sighs. Stares out window. Thinks of the upcoming summer on the Vineyard…

This piece originally appeared in LifeZette and is used by permission.

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