Let’s Make the Twenties Roaring Again

By David Kamioner | February 3, 2020

A hundred years ago the nation was just finishing the term of the worst president in American history, Woodrow Wilson.

His sins are numerous. Prohibition (dumbest idea in American history), direct election of senators (turning a legit upper house into only a supercharged lower house), and the income tax (supposedly a temporary war measure), are only several of his idiocies.

Thankfully, most of the rest of the 20s were filled with sound GOP government, albeit with some minor hiccups. Kind of like the Trump era today.

So to continue Trump “winning”, let’s turn the the old Roaring Twenties the new Roaring Twenties. We can begin an era that takes Trumpism and doubles down on the whole shebang.

First, we’ll make all fun and most lascivious things illegal. Thus like alcohol Prohibition in the 1920s, we can get more of them and increase the variety. There may be some accompanying political corruption and organized crime. But hey, the Democrats can cover that easy peasy. As an added bonus, we get to shoot Tommy guns from the running boards of cars again.

Cool.

We keep President Trump until 2025. Then the next chief executive is a clone, political or otherwise, of Silent Calvin Coolidge. Cal shut up when there was no need for babble and liked to trick his staff by summoning them into the Oval Office then hiding under his desk.

Totally.

We can trade Ariana Grande (ask your kids) for George Gershwin (ask your great grandparents) and everybody is better dressed. Which means men are dressed like adults and women aren’t dressed like prostitutes. Unless, well, they’re prostitutes. We de facto legalized the practice earlier in this piece.

Popular literature goes from Stephen King and J.K. Rowling to F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway. Okay, we take a hit on high tech, communications, and transportation. But getting rid of the current Oscars in house audience and replacing them with people like cowboy star Tom Mix and the vampy Louise Brooks more than compensates.

Google them.

We will make very effort to avoid the market correction that happened at the end of the last 20s. But as long as we don’t have a GOP slide rule jock in the White House followed by a Dem socialist dilettante the next decade, we should avoid the former outcome.

So let’s make the Charleston a thing and drink gin from our bathtubs. There are worse things, like having to go through 2019 again.

This piece originally appeared in LifeZette and is used by permission.

Let’s Make the Twenties Roaring Again

Let's not just go Trump. Let's go MegaTrump.