This Might Be The Best IRS Joke Of All Time
Rusty Weiss
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Conservatives, which make up a bulk of our audience, are understandably apprehensive and leery when it comes to the Internal Revenue Serice (IRS).
The organization was, after all, used by former president Barack Obama and unmistakably weaponized to target his political opponents.
The Department of Justice reviewed the scandal in which Tea Party organizations were targeted by the Obama IRS for more rigorous tax-exempt scrutiny, announcing in October of 2017 that a settlement with those groups had been reached, putting an end to an affair which first came to light in 2013.
The IRS was discovered to have used terms such as “Tea Party” or “Patriots” to delay tax-exempt applications, something Attorney General Jeff Sessions described as “wrong and should never have occurred.”
“It is improper for the IRS to single out groups for different treatment based on their names or ideological positions,” he said.
My thoughts on the DOJ settlement with some of the IRS victims. pic.twitter.com/78ykV00zmU
— Ali Alexander (@ali) October 26, 2017
Despite the settlement, the fact that nobody went to jail for such blatantly obvious illegal actions still leaves a bitter taste in some conservatives mouths.
While it won’t right all the wrongs that took place in the IRS during the Obama years, we thought a good joke might lift some spirits.
This is what we found …
Grandpa Was Summoned For an Audit
The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’
‘I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’
The auditor thinks for a moment and says, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’
Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’
The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’
The auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that trash can on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, and he pretty much pees all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.
‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and you’d be happy about it.’
Ha!
The Obama administration tried to shut down the conservative agenda, and the conservative agenda responded by ushering in President Trump. It took his administration’s investigation to finally hold the IRS accountable.
I bet there are a few people out there who envisioned Lois Lerner’s or former commissioner John Koskinen’s desk when reading through that joke.
It would have been a bittersweet revenge for what they put people through.