Newest Conspiracy Theory: Howard Stern Says Trump Wanted To Sell Nuclear Secrets To Russia

The FBI and Department of Justice raid on former President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate has created advanced stages of Trump Derangement Syndrome. And its latest victim may be Sirius XM radio icon Howard Stern.

During his show on Monday, Stern said he was watching MSNBC’s “Way Too Early with Jonathan Lemire.”

The fact that Stern was watching MSNBC tells you a lot. He said the show claimed that Trump might have moved top secret documents from Florida to Bedminster, New Jersey in 2021.

That’s when the wheels came off the conspiracy train. 

RELATED: Congress Finds Enough Money For Ukraine, But Not For 9/11 First Responders?

Donald Trump’s Crimes (As Theorized By Howard Stern)

Stern immediately launched into his “theories” of how Trump planned to sell nuclear secrets to… somebody.

Theory #1: Donald Trump just cannot believe he has been elected president, and he is just showing off. This is the tame theory.

“One [theory] based on the dude I know, even when he got in office, he couldn’t believe he was in office. When those Russian ambassadors came to visit him — If you remember early on in his administration, he started showing them top secret documents, like saying, ‘Can you believe I have access to this sh*t?’ I think he was trying to prove to the Russians, like, ‘I’m really in control here. I’ve got top secret papers.’ Meanwhile, he’s showing to them to Russians. So one of it is just like to prove that he was president in a way he doesn’t even believe it. That’s the most safe explanation.”

Theory #2, Stern posits, is more sinister:

“This is a guy who badly wants to do business with Russia and Saudi Arabia. Imagine if he says to them, ‘Look, man, give me a couple of billion dollars. And I’ll show you like where France keeps their nuclear weapons.’”

Theory #3, dear reader, is the mother of all Russian conspiracies:

“Then the third is a straight out, ‘Hey, you guys wanna buy this from me? I mean, I can sell it to you, Russia for like, you know, $50 billion. This is what you’ll have. You’ll know everyone’s nuclear secrets.’ I mean, who the f**k knows.”

Stern then gives his listeners a little “inside baseball” into the man he “knows” so well, “You know, that’s just the way he rolls. I don’t even think he has any idea what’s in those documents. He just wants them. He just wants them.”

RELATED: Democrat Rep. Vicente Gonzalez, Sitting Beside Adam Schiff, Says Republican Mayra Flores ‘Stole’ Texas Election

No Shortage Of Left-Wing Conspiracy Theories

Last week, MSNBC host Joy Reid put forth one of her own theories about what Trump’s intention with the documents might have been. She threw it out to a panel of her fellow lefties.

“We know that in 2021 that there was a rash of deaths of American spies, they were being caught, they were being killed. This is a very real and exigent circumstance, and the CIA has admitted to that. Now, we are not saying that we know that there is some connection between the purloin documents and those events, but they did happen at a time when Trump did have custody of some really sensitive information that he shouldn’t have had. You know, you think about that.”

It is probably safe to file Joy’s theory of Trump documents being somehow connected to spies being killed with some of the left’s other greatest hits.

The most recent one being a Washington Post leak that begins with the old, “according to people familiar with the investigation,” some of the documents that were seized were related to nuclear weapons.

Then there was that moldy oldy from 2020 about Vladimir Putin offering bounties to the Taliban to kill American soldiers in Afghanistan. Even then-candidate Joe Biden used that as campaign fodder until he became President, started getting daily briefings, and miraculously did not mention it much after that. 

RELATED: Teen Girl Enthusiasms: Twitching, Cutting, And Trans

TDS Shows No Signs Of Let Up For Howard Stern

Poor Howard. Back in March, after the infamous Will Smith slapping incident of Oscar host Chris Rock, in some sort of body twisting that would be worthy of a Victorian-era freak show, Stern somehow managed to equate Smith with, wait for it, Donald Trump.

After correctly asking where security was during the incident, Stern had this to say:

“Not one person came out, because he’s Will Smith, this is how Trump gets away with sh–. Will Smith and Trump are the same guy. He decided he’s going to take matters into his own hands. At a time when the world is at war. Bad timing, man. Calm your f—ing ass down.”