Fourth Annual TPI Turkey Awards

Updated:

Set down your drumsticks, wrap up your mashed potatoes, and put your stuffing in the fridge. It’s time to celebrate the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

No, not turkey, pumpkin pie, or football. We’ve got something much better to feast upon – our fourth annual Political Insider Turkey Awards, or PITAs for short.

It is with tremendous anticipation that we reward those outstanding politicians who failed in spectacular fashion this past year.

First, we’re proud to introduce the award that each of our recipients will be going home with. Ain’t she a beaut?

 

This jewel-encrusted treasure of the avian world will surely be the showcase piece in any person’s trophy room.

Of course, recipients don’t actually receive a physical trophy, just a picture of one. More specifically, the picture above. No seriously, print it out if you actually want one. Hey, we operate on a shoestring budget.

With that in mind, here are your 2017 PITA winners …

Anthony Weiner

This was pretty much a given. Honestly, if we could have awarded him with two PITAs, we would have. Not only did the former ‘rising’ star of the Democrat Party manage to reveal that classified material from his wife and top aide to Hillary Clinton was on his laptop, helping to submarine her campaign, but he also managed to do so by becoming a target in a child pornography case.

Weiner would eventually report to prison on November 6th for sexting with an underage girl. He will be serving 21-months in federal prison.

This is Weiner’s second PITA award, having won last year as well when sexting allegations with the minor were just coming to light. One more and he’ll match the number of significant scandals involving texting his junk to people who aren’t his wife.

It’s difficult to remember a time when this guy was actually a congressman and top candidate for mayor of New York City. Now he’s just another resident in cell block D.

John McCain

McCain spent this past year pitching Obamacare repeal and its importance, then set about helping to secure former President Obama’s legacy by killing a replacement bill.

Not once, but twice.

McCain’s consistent opposition to President Trump has elevated his status among Democrats, making him an ultimate turkey, and an obvious choice for his first PITA.

Chuck Schumer

To be fair, this honestly should have been a team victory but we don’t have enough golden turkey awards to hand out. With that in mind, Chuck Schumer wins his first PITA for being the face behind the rollout of the Democrat Party’s new slogan.

“A Better Deal: Better Jobs, Better Wages, Better Future.”

No really, that’s their new slogan, not a chapter from the novel “War and Peace,” though they’re similar in length.

Mockery ranged from Papa John’s comparisons to reminding voters that it’s just the same players running the Party.

Unfortunately, Schumer became the face of the rollout when he introduced the new slogan to a throng of clamoring, energetic supporters.

Maybe not. But Schumer can now turn lemons into lemonade with his new, shiny PITA.

Hillary Clinton

Another back-to-back winner, Clinton should have faded into the annals of history, a footnote of the 2016 campaign until a much more qualified woman eventually wins the Presidency.

Instead, she started a year-long effort to point fingers at everybody for her loss – the Russians, James Comey, the aforementioned Weiner, the media, Barack Obama, and many others were on the receiving end of her scorn.

While most Democrats were just wishing she’d go away, recognizing her as a poison preventing the party from ever winning a major election again, Gam Gam persisted.

It was so bad at one point, Clinton spent her days at a local Costco, wedged between the dairy section and the toilet paper, signing copies of her book “What Happened.”

She spent her time doing things a lot differently than she ever could have imagined this past year. Aside from hawking books at Costco, Hillary tried her hand, or foot, at shoe model.

Hey, times have been tough for the glass-shatterer this year, but she can rest easy knowing she’s secured a far better prize – another PITA!

Summary

We hope you enjoyed The Fourth Annual Political Insider’s Turkey Awards (PITAs).

Remember, even though all winners have to live with shame and embarrassment, they still get to go home with a completely fake jewel-encrusted golden turkey. Something to tell the grand kids about someday.

Congratulations to all our winners! Here’s hoping these politicians will continue to work hard letting Americans know how completely incompetent they are – by just being themselves

Comment: Do you agree with our list of ‘Turkeys’ this year? Share your thoughts below

By Rusty Weiss

Rusty Weiss has been covering politics for over 15 years. His writings have appeared in the Daily Caller, Fox... More about Rusty Weiss

Mentioned in this article::