As war efforts are being conducted in Ukraine and the specter of direct conflict between nuclear powers arises once again, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is warning Americans that in the event of a nuclear explosion they should maintain social distancing and wear a mask.
Ready.gov provides a series of suggestions on what one can do in the event of a nuclear attack.
They begin by advising those in the vicinity of a strike to gain access to the nearest building – preferably brick or concrete – to avoid further exposure to radiation. They add that clothing must be removed and the skin cleaned.
From there, you’ll want to be sure to have remembered your mask and to practice safe social distancing recommendations.
“Try to maintain a distance of at least six feet between yourself and people who are not part of your household,” the government website advises. “If possible, wear a mask if you’re sheltering with people who are not a part of your household.”
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FEMA’s Ready.gov site, which prominently states on its home page that it is “an official website of the United States government,” continues to suggest maintaining COVID protocols while a nuclear explosion has just taken place.
“Stay inside for 24 hours unless local authorities provide other instructions. Continue to practice social distancing by wearing a mask and by keeping a distance of at least six feet between yourself and people who (are) not part of your household,” they write.
It gets worse.
Assuming a nuclear explosion has taken place and the need to evacuate to a public shelter arises, FEMA suggests gathering up your COVID-related belongings and bringing them with you.
“If you are told by authorities to evacuate to a public shelter, try to bring items that can help protect yourself and your family from COVID-19, such as hand sanitizer that contains at least 60 percent alcohol, cleaning materials, and two masks per person,” they advise.
Sure, your skin might be melting clean off your body, but dammit, omicron is still out there people!
A warning points out that the hand sanitizer “does not protect against (nuclear) fall out.”
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It’s good to know FEMA is all over a nuclear attack by diverting attention to relatively minor ailments when the world outside may be ending.
Why not remind Americans to bring their OTC acid reflux meds or a little bottle of baby aspirin in case they get a mild headache? Sure your bones may have disintegrated at this point, but you can never be too careful.
The Ready.gov site does note that a nuclear threat might be a stressful situation – one that exacerbates the stress already felt from the pandemic.
“Many people may already feel fear and anxiety about the coronavirus 2019 (COVID-19),” the PSA reads. “The threat of a nuclear explosion can add additional stress.”
Ya think?
Putin has ordered Russia’s “deterrence forces” – which wield nuclear weapons – on high alert as the invasion of Ukraine drags on.
“Top officials in leading NATO countries have allowed themselves to make aggressive comments about our country, therefore I hereby order the Minister of Defense and the chief of the General Staff to place the Russian Army Deterrence Force on combat alert,” he said during a meeting with top Russian defense officials.
Yes, but will they adhere to COVID protocols?
While FEMA is advising Americans to social distance and wear masks in the event of a nuclear strike, lawmakers will no longer be required to do so at President Biden’s State of the Union address.
Biden’s speech will likely be far more stressful than COVID or a nuclear explosion.
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