5 Democrats We Are Thankful(?) For

Well, it’s that time of year again. Get the turkey in the oven on time, make sure the masked potatoes aren’t lumpy, and be grateful for guys yelling at the football game.

We political wonks are grateful for all those things too, but since our brains seem to be wired a bit differently, we have other things we like to thank our lucky stars for on Turkey Day as well.

So without further adieu, the five Democrats, (yes, those tree-hugging, electric car driving, pick your pronouns lefties) that make our lives, well, interesting….

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#1: Rep. Cori Bush (D-MO)

As a constituent of Congressman Bush’s, your humble correspondent would like to take this opportunity to apologize on behalf of the normal people of Missouri’s First Congressional District. It’s not our fault, but we’re still sorry. 

But digressing… It’s not every day that your Congressman invents a new moniker that takes the country by storm. So perhaps we should be grateful for her “linguistic skills.” Who can forget that memorable phrase, “birthing people!” 

Knowing that pandering to potential voters is a Democrat strong suit, Rep. Bush did not want women, who become men, and then have babies, to think the Democrat Party does not care about them.

Hence, “birthing people.” It’s practically a “Seinfeld-ism” now.

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#2 Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY)

America’s favorite bartender turned lawmaker. But whipping up a killer margarita is not AOC’s only talent. She’s an economics major from a highly prestigious east coast institution of higher learning. 

Back in 2019, Democrats had the bright idea to abolish private health insurance and institute a “medicare-for-all” plan for the nation. This nightmare would have cost taxpayers roughly $32 trillion. 

When asked during an interview with Jorge Ramos how it would be paid for, AOC scratched her pinhead, then tilted it to one side like your dog, and came up with this gem, that people would, “just pay for it.”

This, fellow citizens, is the result of your tax dollars going to universities. 

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#3 Hillary Clinton

No other candidate in history was less responsible for her own loss than Hillary Clinton. It wasn’t because no one likes her? It wasn’t because she had really bad ideas for the country? It wasn’t because she was just an all around bad candidate?

No, included is the list of people responsible for the fact that, more things to be thankful for, Hillary Clinton is not the president:

• James Comey
• Vladimir Putin
• Barack Obama
• The Media
• Bernie Sanders, and his supporters
• Green Party Candidate Jill Stein
• Sexism
• White Resentment (WTH?)
• And last but certainly not least…Donald Trump!
• This list is by no means complete. Almost forgotten, Macedonian content farms.

#4 VP Kamala Harris

With a 28% approval rating, how could Vice President Harris not make the list? From her ear-splitting cackle to her patronizing, what-the-hell-was-she- thinking phony French accent, and her non-existent solving of the crisis on the southern border, the nation’s first female Vice President is setting the bar for the next female Veep or even the first female president fairly low.

Has she disappeared from public view because she really hates Joe Biden or because she thinks he is dragging down her future political opportunities? Seeing as how she dropped out of the presidential race when she wasn’t polling well in California, hating on Joe might work out better for her.

#5 President(?) Joe Biden

Unfortunately, America will have lunch-bucket Joe to kick around for a few more years. We will marvel at his adventures with Cornpop, who was a bad dude, telling unintelligible stories to the Pope, and God knows what else.

It only took Joe 47 years of inactivity, plagiarism, and just plain fibbing to reach the highest office in the land. 

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AND…One honorable mention.

A few days ago, a picture appeared in conjunction with a “Political Insider” story. It is a picture of Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL), who at this point might as well be a Democrat, talking about how he “almost” used his gun on the rioters on January 6. 

The picture is from a January 6 Committee hearing, and it tells you all you need to know about Congressman Kinzinger. Enjoy the giggle and Happy Thanksgiving.